Read and Disregard: The Rules Here Do Not Apply

Department of Safe Schools and Student Relations

5823 Memorial Drive

Stone Mountain, Georgia 30083

Dear Superintendent Thurmond and Members of the Safe Schools Task Force,

It is my understanding that you are seeking input to the Student Rights and Responsibilities handbook which is a code of conduct manual for students in the DeKalb public school system. My comments are related to my experience as a parent who has had a child in a DeKalb County public school and has volunteered inside the classroom, served on the PTA and was elected as parent representative to the School Council in Tucker.

I also have a Bachelor’s degree in Communication and a double minor in Psychology and Sociology from the University of South Florida. I have worked in Marketing and Marketing Research for more than 20 years, most notably as the Marketing Research Manager for CNN News Services. I now work part-time from home and devote a great deal of my personal time to education and local community issues.

I appreciate that the school system is asking for stakeholder input on the variety of issues and tasks that it is currently undertaking. I have been vocally opposed to the "old way" of conducting business which was very much under a cover of secrecy, hiding the planning stages and unveiling the final product only at a time that was usually too late for anyone to object. There has been an obvious game in play that pits neighbor against neighbor and I think it has been destructive to our entire state.

However, I have struggled with exactly what issues would be the most important to cover in a request for feedback like this one. The student conduct code is definitely a priority, but I think there is another, overriding factor that must be dealt with if you really want to make improvements.

To be blunt for a moment, the fact is: the rules do not matter. From the conduct of the kids in our schools, to the conduct of the parents in the PTAs, to the conduct of the teachers, principals, school board members and on up the line, the rules are essentially meaningless here. Therefore, any changes you may decide to make to this conduct book might be essentially meaningless, too.  

And, even more troublesome is that there are no consequences for breaking the rules. In fact, sometimes it is a person in authority who actually condones the breaking of the rules. Further, rules apply differently to different people, depending on who is calling the shots and making the judgment call on a particular subject matter at a particular time to serve a particular purpose. Some examples that come immediately to mind are:

* The (former) Superintendent (Atkinson) thought plagiarism was okay.

* The (former) Superintendent (Lewis) thought using tax payer funds for personal use was OK.

*  The (former) Chief Financial Officer (Perrone) kept money off the books.

Not only are the rules meaningless, but the rules often change in order to make it alright for someone to engage in an activity that was previously unacceptable.

The rules change after the fact, so they are more of a way to relieve someone from punishment rather than to hold them to a set of standards. The poor conduct and rule breaking has continued for so long that the rules have become irrelevant. 

From the smallest to the largest infractions, the rules that really matter are the UNwritten ones. This is the "you scratch my back; I'll scratch yours" way of doing business. These are the ones that need to be changed, or done away with completely. That's the larger challenge before you. I hope you will give it some thought and consideration during your discussions about the rule book.

If there is one message about discipline that we as parents are told over and over again when our first child is born it is that babies thrive on consistency; children need schedules; they thrive on routines, regular and predictable outcomes. This level of consistency is not always available to a child at home, but school could fill that void. Sadly, from what I have seen, our system is always in turmoil, always changing, never a predictable constant that anyone, young or old, would consider a stabilizing factor in our communities.

Children need to feel secure that they are being taken care of by a system of individuals who all follow the rules when it comes to their own conduct and who will be watching the kids to make sure they hold up their end, too.  

As for parental involvement, the schools will likely get more of what they need from the parents if the employees were actually allowed to start caring about their work again. If they are not emotionally invested in making the school a success, then the children and their families will not get emotionally involved either. You need teachers and counsellors are are willing to actually listen to the parents and the children and not just "put up" with them. Communication is a two-way street but that doesn't make any difference if you are both driving in opposite directions.

Relationships must begin with trust so that you are given authority to make rules by people who want you to govern over them. Otherwise, you are making rules without understanding what is at the core of the behavior issues. Beyond updating a code or a policy, I hope you are also considering how important it is to hold people accountable at all levels to following the rules. It's time we all started driving in the same direction.

Thank you for your time.  
Sincerely,

Cheryl Miller