I've been taking to heart the many Facebook and Twitter pleas to dig into the candidates and really discover what's behind their campaigns. After hours sitting in front of Google, exhaustively typing in millions of search word permutations, I've finally arrived at some of the most shocking discoveries about both candidates that I could've never imagined (and some of which I actually did imagine).
- Did you know Mitt Romney's been married to the same woman for, like, a long time? And same thing with Barack Obama?
- Did you know that both men have personal, religious faith that guides them? And still some people see both as godless?
- This one blew my mind: both guys seem to wear suits. A lot. Creepy, right?
- Both candidates have last names that feature the sound "Ahm", which means that both are secretly Buddhist. Or at least into the Beatles circa '68.
- Most people know President Obama is a huge basketball fan, but did you know that Mitt Romney can dunk on an 11' rim? And has a tattoo on his right bicep that says "Mad Skrillz"?
- Both men like sending things overseas: jobs, troops, Skype conversations...
- Much has been made over Mitt Romney's family investing in a company that operates voting booths in Ohio; curiously, no one has made anything of the fact that Barack Obama operates the entire country where voting is taking place.
- Did you know that the Constitution allows for only three approved reasons NOT to vote?
- Did you know that the average time on line for a voter will still be 2 hours less than the average kid watches TV each day?
- There's an old wives tale that says if you don't vote, your hair will fall out at an inopportune time, like while standing in the buffet line at the Golden Corral.
- And finally, Twitter has reportedly given the Fail Whale steroids in order to keep it ready for the massive server interruptions that are bound to happen around 7 PM EST.
So, as you can see, this is an important election. Your vote counts, so get out there and cast it.
And if you don't, try not to go anywhere in public for a while. It would be embarrassing to have carry your hair home in your pockets...