Why I Hate to Pay Taxes

By: Someone with Limited Knowledge of Both Politics and Economics

                Paying taxes is the worst!  I work hard all year long to not even bring home my full wages.  As to add insult to injury, I have to go through the process each year of filing my taxes so that the government can assure themselves that they have taken every dime legally possible.  Don’t get me wrong, I am total rule follower who appreciates some of what the money goes towards, but there has always been something that really bothered me about the entire process.  While avoiding finishing my taxes this evening, I began to create this list of the reasons I hate paying taxes. 

1. It’s stealing.  Help Mom, the bully took my lunch money!  Thinking I’m being dramatic?  The definition of stealing is “to take by force.”  What happens?  My money is gone before I even see it, then they come back on April 15th and take a little bit more just to be safe.  I don’t have a choice.  I HAVE to pay taxes.  And to those who think it’s not by force, I would like for you and your employer to quit participating for a couple of years and see what happens.  Then we can debate.
2. Inefficient use of my money.  I love my local police.  I like having paved roads.  I think we should hire more teachers.  I don’t think a senator needs a new car every two years.  I don’t think golfing is a paid business expense.  I think Michelle would look fabulous in a dress from Macy’s clearance rack.  (Let’s be honest, she’s gorgeous.  She could wear a paper bag!)  There are more fully funded programs that I disagree with than programs that I do agree with.  Yes, I vote for my representatives and even visited mine last month, but do I really have a choice or a voice in budget items?
3. The Liberty tax characters. They distract me while I’m trying to drive and they don’t even look the part.  Today I saw a lady dressed as Uncle Sam.  She wasn’t even convincing.  I mean, if you’re busty and have a large weave, you don’t qualify for Uncle Sam.  Lady Liberty, maybe, but not my Uncle Sam.  If you’re going to put someone in drag, at least make them fabulous.
4. It makes me feel like a number.  Insert social security number here.  Wages here.  What we stole from you here.  Am I the only one that feels like I’m in the Matrix?
5. Time Consuming.  If you’re going to make me a number, can you at least make it quick and painless?  Can’t I just insert my chip into the scanner and pay?
6. It’s stressful.  As my vocation has changed, the simplicity of my taxes has.  I used to be able to E-File, quick and painlessly.  Now I have the choice of pulling an all-nighter, or paying someone $200 to do my dirty work.  I would pay someone (and stimulate the economy) but I can’t afford to that and pay the government the number I know they’re about to ask for. 

I typically like to close my rants with some kind of action plan, but I am currently at a loss.  I vote. I pray.   I write, call, and visit my local representatives.  In the end, what else can you do but cough it up.  So here you go, Lady Lib.  Spend Wisely.