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Health & Fitness

Moving Beyond Hate Toward "Tuff" Love

A little "Tuff" love can go a long way to helping DeKalb turn a corner.

Officials in DeKalb County, Ga., have released a recording of the 911 call Antoinette Tuff made after Michael Brandon Hill, 20, entered the Ronald E. McNair Discovery Learning Academy in Decatur, outside Atlanta.  (It's actually unincorporated DeKalb County for those who are hung up on city lingo these days.)  

Remarkably this story did not have a tragic ending. Remarkably, the entire nation, even the President, is looking at DeKalb County right now and saying positive things about us, our schools, our law enforcement, our citizens.  I know, it's hard to believe, but it is true.  DeKalb is being used as an example across the nation for something that was done RIGHT.  It may have been the quick thinking and calm demeanor of just a few individuals, but what happened at McNair really could have happened anywhere in DeKalb.  

The situation exemplified our county in many ways.  The nation witnessed first hand:  the struggles of some of our residents, the innocence of our children, the power behind our police force, the bumbling of our school system, the love of the parents for their children and the centrality of our media to what takes place.

But, what I hope they were also able to see as they watched the children exit the back of the school building and run toward an open field, is the bravery of everyday people.  Ms. Tuff and the would-be shooter had nothing in common on the surface, but underneath, they were able to understand one another.  They were able to connect in times of trouble without racism, politics or even mental illness getting in the way.  

Is it possible that we may have turned a corner?  I know it is too soon to tell if we will be able to maintain this feeling of community that comes when a crisis is averted.  But, I'm an optimist.  The shock of what happened, or more precisely what didn't happen, is still paralyzing much of the press as well as the rest of the nation. There has been very little analysis of this event that will likely be forgotten by most Americans before the Labor Day holiday is over.  

But, here in DeKalb County, the bravery of Bookkeeper Antoinette Tuff will not be forgotten any time soon, especially not by the parents, teachers, administrators and law enforcement officers who were there that day.  They knew what could have happened.  We all knew.  Yet we were helpless.  

Antoinette Tuff may have felt helpless, too.  She could have panicked.  She even contemplated running when the gunman stepped outside to fire off several shots, but she maintained her composure and decided to stay.  She stayed to protect the children by keeping him occupied in the front of the school while a SWAT team and school personnel evacuated the children out rear doors in a safe, orderly manner.  The kids were well behaved and practiced.  The teachers, principal and others who helped out during practice drills should be commended as well.  

Tuff told reporters later that same day that the gunman said he was prepared to die.  But, what she did not say in so many words is that she, too, was prepared if it had been her time to go.  She said her faith and her belief in God is what gave her the strength to find the right words to say. She credits her church for teaching her how to care for someone when they are troubled.  But, I suspect life's experience had taught her quite a bit of that as well.  

She cares for a disabled child, a husband who left her after 33 years and she even took her seat that day in the office to help out a co-worker who was out to lunch.  She could have cared about saving her own life and no one would have blamed her.  Instead, she thought about the children and, remarkably, she thought about the situation the gunman himself was in.
As impossible as it may sound, she found empathy and forgiveness for a man who even had given up on himself. She asked about his family. She spoke clearly for him when he was likely unsure of the right words to say as he did not seem to have a clear plan about what he wanted or why he was there.  She told the police to stand down and she gained his trust in the process.  

Antoinette Tuff told the gunman she loved him.  And, you know what?  I believe her.   She said and did the things that came naturally to her, combined with what she learned from training on the job and lessons from church.  She did the unthinkable by stopping a horrible massacre from taking place here, like what the nation witnessed in Sandy Hook.  

She did something else even more unthinkable.  She humanized the monster.  She showed the world another side of the nameless/faceless gunman when we would normally know nothing but contempt.  How could she do this?  She is likely a woman who has always put others first so it may not have been out of character for her.  But, it was sorely out of character for our nation these days, don't you think?

Greed, selfishness, anger, deceit, bully behavior, lack of ethics, lack of morals, lack of accountability.... These are the deficits of our nation and they are a bigger problem than the housing market or the slow to recover economy.  

The 600 children in DeKalb at McNair Academy were blessed to have Antoinette Tuff looking out for them.  But, we need a lot more people like her if we are going to save the rest of the 99,000 reportedly in our public schools in DeKalb.  Throwing money at them is not the solution.  Just like guns or cell phones were not the tools that Ms. Tuff needed in order to talk the gunman down.  She didn't need a SWAT team to get him to place his weapons, including an assault rifle, on the counter and then lay on the floor and surrender.  

She used something that we all could use a little more of in our lives.  It's called love.  Tuff love.  

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