CDC Speaks Out About Zombie Apocalypse
Seriously. After a series of bizarre attacks that made news during the past weeks, the Centers for Disease Control felt compelled to address people's concerns about the possibilities of an impending Zombie Apocalypse.
On the CDC Site, under a heading of "Emergency Preparedness and Response" is a subhead called "Social Media: Peparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse." There's a tongue-in-cheek novella shown there called "Zombie Pandemic" which "demonstrates the importance of being prepared in an entertaining way that people of all ages will enjoy." You can follow along with the adventures of "Todd, Julie, and their dog Max as a strange new disease begins spreading, turning ordinary people into zombies."
The CDC wasn't expecting any Zombie Pandemics to occur when they published the novella, but it's a really neat way to appeal to folks on the importance of being prepared in an emergency.
And that was that... up until this past week when a series of particularly gruesome events made sensational headlines that seemed to indicate that we were in the midst of a Zombie Apocalypse and no amount of Twinkie weaponry would be sufficient.
Time.com creates a time-line starting with the May 26th episode in Miami during which a man attempted to chew off the face of a homeless man; he was shot dead after growling at police. Reports are that he was high on bath salts. Not exactly a Zombie-fying disease.
Every bit as weird is the report of a New Jersey man who stabbed himself repeatedly, then "threw bits of flesh" (and perhaps entrails) at police when they tried to subdue him. According to NBC New York, as of May 31, he was in critical condition at an area hospital and mental illness or drug abuse was suspected as the cause of the incident.
Another incident from Baltimore in the cannibalistic slaying of his roommate, and the accounts of a bear who ate a convicted murderer rounded up a series of potential evidence pointing to a Pandemic for sure.
We can all stand down from preparedness on that front, however. The CDC says there is no Apocalypse.
“CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms,” David Daigle, a spokesman for the CDC told The Huffington Post.
He dismissed the possibility of Dr. Steven C. Schlozman's fictional disease Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency as the culprit.
Some folks just don't want to take the chance that the CDC might be wrong, so if you still have concerns, you might want to check out ehow.com's "How To Fight Zombies."
Clearly written by professionals and those "who would know." Always remember their warning:
Although zombie fighting is often fun, it can be dangerous. Observe all standard safety rules when using guns and swords. The undead are no excuse for personal irresponsibility!
Seen any zombies lately?? Tell us in the comments!
Charles Sandoval
9:06 pm on Friday, June 8, 2012
zombies are real, there are parasites that can turn insects into zombies..if those can why can't people
http://zombiemegastore.com
Bob Hobbs
9:49 pm on Friday, June 8, 2012
Hello, I'm Bob Hobbs, the artist who created the CDC's Zombie Pandemic graphic novel.
I have to say it's all very surreal what's been happening in the past couple of weeks. Face-eating, intestine-throwing, body part mailings...and then the CDC's Zombie campaign being tied into it all.
It's all very very weird....and I'm not sure, but all this media attention may have contributed to the rise in value of my book "Dark Art" on Amazon and renewed interest in the graphic novel as well. I've even seen CDC Zombie t-shirts for sale.
It will be interesting to see what's next but I really hope no one else gets gnawed on.
Kevin Madigan
12:22 am on Saturday, June 9, 2012
Hey Bob, glad it helps!
Haley Munroe
11:17 pm on Friday, June 8, 2012
This is very scary I hope things don't escalate
carrie mead
2:14 am on Saturday, June 9, 2012
If you're a Vampire and you suck some blood from a Zombie, would it turn the Vampire into a Vambie, or would it turn the Zombie into a Zompire or both...or D. non of the above or E. all of the above? Just a thought..... ; >'
Crystal Huskey
7:56 pm on Saturday, June 9, 2012
I don't know, but that is a very creative emoticon.
Steven Schlozman
10:55 am on Sunday, June 10, 2012
Hi folks. I'm the guy who sort of just made up the disease Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome. I'm a physician, and I wrote the novel the Zombie Autopsies mostly for fun and also to take a medical look at what might happen if there were a zombie outbreak. But, for the sake of not getting too carried away, I need to be clear that it is all fiction. I know. Wild that I am even writing this, but I feel sort of duty-bound. I also know that pretty much every one knows that there is not a zombie virus. (darn hard to raise the dead, for starters), but again, we don't need another War of the Worlds. Thanks for the thoughtful article.
Best Regards,
Steven Schlozman
Kevin Madigan
1:05 pm on Sunday, June 10, 2012
Thanks, Steven. We are aware that the disease does not exist, nor do zombies.
Steven Schlozman
5:34 pm on Sunday, June 10, 2012
I know, I know...but still I get questions!